Friday, August 9, 2013

Learn to Write Like a Effing Copywriter If You Want To Sell Arts and Crafts Online

Buongiorno Bella!

Why is it that so many artsy people don't want to write....ugh a BLOG?! 


Is it because we feel as artists, we do enough creating?  "I  just wanna make why don't you freakin people want to buy any of my stuff???"

I'll tell ya why, you artsy curmudgeon you....


A blog is one of the best ways to sell your art online.  Not through Facebook, or Twitter or even those art commerce sites such as Art America.

People like to know you and guess what?.....Blogs connect people to you.

People like to buy things from people that they know.

You may think "But, my writing sucks!  That's just one more thing I have to do!"

Yes, but dolceze, it will be so worth it.  And you don't even have to do it all that often either.  Decide on once a week or once a month.

Getting back to the "My writing sucks" part of the issue...
After reading this article your writing won't suck!

You will immediately be able to apply what you've learned here to your blogging, emails , Facebook and Twitter posts...Today!

Where do we begin?

1.  Start with a headline.  A good one, a bad one, a mutha effing one, doesn't matter, just make it attention grabbing or useful.

The headline is what triggers the synapses our brain to hit "click".  Grab attention and imply that there will be free cookies given out! (I mean that in jest of course).  The cookie is the bait.  You have something your audience wants or needs.

2.  Tell them what they're gonna get in the first line.  But, not so fast...they must read further in order to get their cookie! What you are doing is making a promise- A promise that you will fulfill what your headline says it will.

3.  The third line explains why the promise will benefit them.  People read to gain something for themselves.   They're not reading your post because "Awe, poor Naomi needs someone to pay attention to her!" Sorry, but the reader doesn't give a hoot about you, it's what's in it for them.

Sounds mean, they may like you, hopefully they do but they are reading to receive their cookie.

Here's what the treats look like:

  • Entertainment.
  • Useful for the reader.  Something that the want or need. 
  • Emotionally Stirring.  Bring them to tears, laughter, feel good about themselves, relieve stress.

***Always remember to write about things that will help, delight or stir emotion in your reader.  

***The reader keeps reading  because they want their damned cookie (benefit) that you promised them!

***Make a promise ,explain it then fulfill the promise in the next line or section.

How do you keep their attention?

By promising the cookie and then giving it to them. Line after line.  Section after section.  In the same order:  Promise benefits/ fulfill the promise.  Use this method for each section of your writing.

Hey writing is simple!


Make it compelling, interesting, disagreeable, or informative.  Writing the headline keeps you on topic.

Answer what the headline promises.  If you don't... people will get a royal rhinoceros bug up their ass and click away!

Types of attention grabbing headlines:
The funny or bizarre  Headline:

  • 5 Steps To Make Voodoo dolls.
  • 10 Great Tips For Removing Paint From Your Hair.
  • How To Sew Like a Gangsta!

The straight to the point Headline:

  • How to paint with encaustics.
  • Learn the art of crochet roses.
  • Tips for organizing your art supplies.

Writers style:

You've got to have some pizzazz in your writing.  Add your personality.

  • Keep in mind who your audience is.  If they're fun and funny, write funny things that happen as you make your crafts.
  • If they're rebellious, artsy, edgy people; be belligerent.  A few expletives won't bother these mutha effers!

Storytelling 101:

A great start to a blog post is to lead with a story.  Only if there is a point to the story.  The point is that it relates somehow to your post.


There's not much to do here at night on Fire Island, where I'm staying  for the summer.  Me and my husband love the seclusion, however, we tend to get on each others nerves if we don't entertain ourselves.

We've got a mean game of pinochle going on. I've won 5 out of ten times!  How's that for excitement?  But a big glass of vino was playing havoc on my mind for 2 lost occasions.

What's good about having nothing to do is that we pass the time by telling each other stories.

My husband, is a great storyteller.  He really knows how to draw you in. I suppose it's because he's does a lot of travelling.

He's got an interesting job. He's a photographer and film maker.  He's traveled all over the world. When he says "Did I ever tell you about the time I went to..."  Those words are magic to my ears.  I'm fascinated by his travel stories.

There really is an art to storytelling.  My husband knows just how to build curiosity.  He leads you down a narrow and winding path.  Gives out only enough information to keep you following closely.

If you can segue a relevant story into every post ...go for it.  We'll love that you include us in a little part of your life.

  • Stories make your writing less boring.
  • Stories make your readers feel connected to you.
  • Stories suspend reality for a moment, draw your reader into your post, newsletter or FB post.

Never believe that you're a lousy storyteller.  We all tell stories everyday.  You may not realize it but you're a master storyteller already.  Incorporate your everyday language into your writing and storytelling and you will have a great blog.

Think of writing as if you were talking to your best friend.   Isn't that when you do your best storytelling?

Stories make learning and teaching easier.  They make bonding easier.  They make writing easier.

Remember what they taught us in school?  A story has a beginning, a middle and an end.  Tell us what happened.  In order please, so that we can follow along.

Unlike Aesop's Fables, there doesn't always need a moral to our story.  A point to your story is what's needed.  Ask yourself "Why am I telling this story?   What's the best way to get my point across?"

Be brief.  Ahem, don't laugh at me!

Give details.  Don't say "big" if you mean "husky".  Be expressive.  Involve the senses.  Add texture, tastes and sounds.

How to get people to read to the end of your post?

  • Establish relevance. 
  • Attention is kept by dangling the benefit.

Readers want that benefit, you'd better give it to them!

Give out benefits quickly or else their mind begins to wander.
And're gone!

  • Remember readers have fidgety attention spans.
  • Don't screw it up by boring them! 
  • Make posts easy to scan. People like to scan when they read.  Use bullet points, numbers, headings and subheadings.

Remember these 3 things :

1.  Think of the benefits your reader is looking for in your writing.

  • Do they want to be entertained, learn something or feel moved?

2.  Summarize the benefits into sections.  Each section with its own benefit.

3.  Outline each section of your blog post.

  • Beginning-Hint at what's to come.
  • Middle-Deliver what you say you will.
  • End-Hint at what's coming in the next section.

I think you've got it now!